Dewy like a decimal system

Before taping a little rebuttal for Howard Stern's iN Demand program on Friday, I watched Andy Dick's recent appearance on the Sirius show.

I'd say the highlight is when Dick whips out the handwritten note to me he's still carrying around in that spiral-bound notebook of his. However, on Sirius he reads a part of the letter that the Washington Post so politely euphemizes with the much daintier "Etc."

That would be the part where Andy Dick calls me a "dried up cunt."

Here's the question I have. Will I ever be able to hear "Etc." the same way again?

"So good to catch up! Etc."

"Give all my love to your family, your mom, your dad. Etc."

"Have you considered K-Y Jelly? Etc."

As I was telling Steve, I really wanted my rebuttal to be simply: "I am not a dried-up cunt. Thank you."

Steve had a much better idea.

"No," he offered. "You should have just said, 'I am not dried up.'"

What upsets me the most is the fact that now everyone's going to assume I stole my Halloween costume idea from Andy.

Maybe I'll go as a classic twig-filled vagina instead.